If they do not know how to live on their own and manage their money and know how to buy a house and buy groceries for themselves> ???Do they need to teach a course on this in college? Where ever did this all go so wrong?
Best reply by foxymoron:
or even write a check... i try on a daily basis to teach these things to my 16 year old... who could care less... thinks mommy will always be there... news flash, shes out at 18....lol
Read the original question on Yahoo! site What good is all the education we have given to our children ?
It all starts at home, taught by an intact family. No absentee fathers, crack mothers, etc.
Without a good family, many people will never learn any of those things.
Yes, they should teach more of this in school.
We taught our kids. It all goes wrong at home. We followed my wife’s idea of how to bring up children – treat them as you would a puppy until old enough to do for themselves. Then teach them to look after themselves and others. Worked fo us! Education is a different issue to life matters. Don’t expect school to do it all for kids. Parents should be the main educators of their children- schools only should have to deal with academic learning.
Stop rescuing them. Leave them alone to fend for themselves.
I think education is a wonderful thing-nothing learned is ever wasted. The best education comes from those raising a child. My child has learned to make her own way. They have a very nice home, a job and she’s paying for school. She a very productive, responsible person. The lessons she’s learned have been put to very good use. I’m grateful this is the case, I have family members who’s children are just as you described. Life’s just not easy sometimes for anyone.
A 12 th grade high school and an advanced college course would be very advantageous to those not ready to budget.
My children have all paid for their own education after high school and have used it to their advantage.
I do have one daughter, 25, with 2 children who is saving for a home. After being here about a year and a half she plans on having a down payment by next summer.
Perhaps if she wasn’t so comfortable she would want to move sooner.
We do hate the thought of her paying rent when she can make house payments toward owning her own home. All the other children except the youngest (17) are buying homes.
My mother says make her move out-she is taking advantage etc. We feel if we push her to move out she will be set up to fail. I know my husband nor I had any option except to fly by the seat of our pants. We made it witout help. Just the sweat and back breaking work ethic we were taught. No we didn’t play organized sports or have extra curricular activities as they cost money our parents did not have and we were needed to work or take care of younger siblings.
My daughter at 25 is more like myself at 13. Her children do take dance and play softball. Frivilous perhaps. They feel secure in our home and that is priceless. So with this one child we will continue teaching her budgeting and allow her to save while we feed and house her and the children. Her income is jsut enough to live in a dangerous neighborhood. So we feel we are investing in her and the grandkids future by allowing her to live here, move up the ladder at work and mature.
Like my Mother says she did make the choices that made her a very young mother and divorced. Maybe we feel guilty since my husband and I have both been on our own since our mid teens.
There are so many things that I was taught in high school and the one year I went to college (got a good job and didn’t go back) that I never used and don’t use now.
Just a couple of nights ago, I was thinking that in high school they need to teach how to make a living. Hands on learning.
They missed the boat somewhere
Go over to the Mental Health section and you’ll feel pretty good about your kids. The kids these days are “cutting” themselves.. talking about.committing suicide…don’t know how to write sentences or spell..even close to correct way (Yes..I know they have their own computer slang…but even those are misspelled.(did I spell “misspelled” correctly??lol Sometimes you can hardly read what they write).They’re having panic attacks. and think they’re schizophrenics etc. I think they’ve gotten too much info on mental illness. They’re (a lot of them ) against religion (go to religion and spirituality). As for what you said…I believe learning “life skills” should start in 1st grade..and ESPECIALLY be taught in Jr. High and High School (considering a lot of them aren’t even staying in school past Jr. High…if that long) Actually, I don’t remember being “taught” any of these skills..I think I was just expected to watch and listen and learn. (I’m surprised how much I remember from just doing that) I definitly don’t think that parental help should stop when they leave home. There’s SO MANY things out there that they need help with when they leave home (whether they think they do or not) But…things have changed SO MUCH..in the last years..esp with computers. I feel like I’m retarded and obsolete now (like the English language seems to be) lol
Oh if life were just that simple. But the factor that most don’t understand until they’ve been there is that the teenager does not WANT to learn what you need to teach them to be responsible people.
So he hit bottom real, real hard and several times I might add. He’s strong willed and while that’s a good thing, it meant it would take him years to wake up and realize he was making very poor choices and that he could change his life.
He created a clean slate; started over. Wanted to continue his education and we helped and stood by and supported him as long as he stood on his own two feet and took responsibility for his own life, worked his butt off and paid his way out of the hole he was in, etc.
He’s now a Master Teacher finishing up his Phd. Makes good money and saves and budgets and exercises, is happy and doing a wonderful job raising his own child so she makes better choices than he did. We are so darned proud of him. He’s finally become a man.
But bottom line is that some people really have to learn things in their own way and sometimes as their parents, the only thing you can do until they grow up a little more, is step back and let them go, and not rescue them from the consequences of their own actions. And Pray!
First, when Governments got involved in schooling.
Second when teachers have to give a pupil three notices, before they can ask them to leave the class and/or report them to the Headmaster/Mistress. (That is in Aussie).
Third, when some schools started using the Steiner Method.
And computer game , and X Boxes haven’t helped. They have their place. But it is out of control.
Didn’t you try to teach these things to your kids? I did.
Incidentally, my Mom didn’t have the time nor the patience to teach me this stuff. I learned it in Home Ec and Home & Family Living classes in high school.
Kids go to school not to learn but for the social atmosphere. Its all about boyfriends and girlfriends and in between. We can’t say anything to the effect of we want accountability of how our tax dollars are being spent for education. Currently we are spending 750 billion dollars annually and nothing to show for it. Those in politics want to throw more money into it. Its the Washington DC mind set to every problem, throw money at it, that should fix it.
It is time to dismantle the education system and go private. It should be the business of state government to educate and not the federal government. And we need to demand accountability. We need to go back to basics as to what was once taught in schools back in the middle part of last century.
Teach kids that they can’t spend themselves into riches. What I mean is that if you have $10 in your pocket, don’t invent a way to spend it because in doing so, it is Wall Street that makes money off of you. And then you are $10 short, back to zero dollars in your pocket.
I can go on for days on this. I close here.
Are you talking about your
own kids? Here’s a word from
an old lady who has been there,done that,couldn’t afford
the T-shirt.
You gave it your best shot!!!
Now, let them sink or swim.
You will be so surprised how
much they learn in a short period of time when THEY have do it or starve. And don’t let them come back
till they are 50 wanting part
or all of your SS income.
That’s BS.
yeh! they have learned cuz, wuz, skool, kewl, and much more. he likes,,,,she likes. gay and lesbien,,,,! nerd, prepy and goth. most interesting, I recently read how a young fellow felt he need to offer her sex, because she bought the dinner! Has womanhood became that cheap? as for children, if they buy themselves anything, its with your money! you right,,,,, i give up too! when you die, who is going to feed them? house them? SSI. next generation will bankrupt the system! another great depression is in the making!
not because there is no work, but because they wont work!!!!!
You know what? This is a really common question and I have mulled this over and over and decided WTF, let ‘em go and let us spend all the money that’s left while we are still alive and in control of it. Screw them. I’ll bet they learn fast how to use the gifts they took for granted when we really dry up the well. Ha Ha.
I have no complaints at all, where my grown sons are concerned. I raised them with values & taught them what’s right & what’s wrong, by being a good role model. I taught them to do the things they’d need to know how to do when they were on their own, by giving them household chores to do. They made their share of mistakes & I told them that no one is perfect & if they learned from their mistakes, that was a lesson in life. They had jobs while in high school, & learned how to manage their money. They saved their money for things they wanted. These were things out of the norm that their dad & I bought them. They went into the Navy right after high school graduation. With careers in mind, they set out to make their dreams come true. They are both in law enforcement, are both married, & have children of their own. They are raising their children as they were raised. That indeed is a great compliment to their dad & I.
OK. . .I remember being pretty young and pretty dumb and put out into the world with exactly no experience. My parents did not tell me to come home if I got into problems and did not offer to bail me out. I learned how to take care of myself. My parents did not enable me in any way. I didn’t get to college until I was in my 40′s and was horrified to see how dumbed down the courses were and how there was a credit course on how to find your way around the campus. I always liked that movie about the kids in LA proving they could rise to their professor’s expectations. Maybe it’s not the kids fault enough is not demanded of them.
I think it begins at an early age at home, by example. I also feel that college is too late, it should begin in Jr. high. But, no matter how much is taught, much is learned the hard way. My parents taught me many good lessons, but the only way that I learned was by making mistakes and learning that my parents were not going to be there to bail me out. I will add that I have never been arrested, and I knew that if I dared to call my parents and ask them, they would have said “no”. You learn by your mistakes and you take responsibility for them.
I taught the kids how to pay their bills on time. The oldest son owned his first home at 25, sold it, moved to a bigger place, sold it and moved to a bigger yet place.
The other son now owns two homes, each one at $1.5 million each. They learned well
back in the day, families were families. they stuck together, even living in the same house. eighteen is far too young to be self sufficient! even 22 is still a foolish age!
the problem (in my oppinion) is that parents shove children out into the world all alone before they’re ready to handle it. Plus it doesn’t help that our society is more driven by greedy corporations than ever before in its history. a kid who just moved out and is trying to be mature but is barely struggling to eat gets a credit card offer in the mail and it says “no payment for 6 months”. they’ve been unable to wash their clothes or eat anything better than top ramen. you know they are going to take that credit card!
It has always taken young people a lot longer to learn these things than their parents think it should. Add to it the modern American idea that young people should be out of the house at an age previous generations would have considered ridiculous…